GO TO WWW.HAIKUEWE.COM

Hi!

There will no longer be Haiku Ewe updates on this blog. To stay hip to the Ewe, please visit www.haikuewe.com and bookmark it!

See you there!
-Al

Point Doooooom

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New post at www.haikuewe.com: Point Dooooom (give or take an "o")

Please be sure to bookmark haikuewe.com right away as this blog will not be updated after Friday, July 31.

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Chinese Balls

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Fresh post today at www.haikuewe.com: Chinese Balls

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Satan's Baby / Verizon Wireless

Just posted at www.haikuewe.com. Check it out!

HaikuEwe.com

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Hi! I published a new post at www.HaikuEwe.com today!


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WordPress ComicPress The Jets

Today, I am going to my friend's house and she is going to help me figure out WordPress and ComicPress. Yes. I really am that stupefied. I don't exactly know how it happened, but WordPress grabbed me by the shoulders and headbutted me.

I am not even totally sure I know how to upload images since I somehow managed to change the naming convention but WordPress collaborated on the change (uninvited) thereby rendering the new naming convention unknowable.

I think a happy life is one spent without ever having seen a person getting decapitated or PHP. Fortunately, I've managed to avoid the former, but the latter has plagued me for years. And now PHP has joined WordPress's gang. So, while WordPress was headbutting me, PHP was pantsing me.

My dream is for haikuewe.com to have a little logo across the top and a little sketch underneath and the blog underneath that. I'm a simple dreamer. I don't even want to figure out the side columns. But every time I go to the blog's dashboard there are WordPress and PHP. Waiting. Snapping. Like the Jets. Soon they'll dance around in a mock gang fight and just when I trip over my two left feet and fall to the ground, PHP will stab me in the stomach and WordPress will toss a cigarette on me.

Well, thank you to my friend who will hopefully help me decipher the PHP. Perhaps it will be us stabbing them in the stomach? Does that make us the Sharks?

Zee Splint! She Eez Off!

Six more weeks of therapy twice each week and I should be good as new, or at least close. Hooray! The splint is off during the day. I still need to wear it at night.

Drawing has been unsightly. My pinky is still ridiculously week and shaky but the strength will build back up. And until then, I hope fans will forgive some jiggly drawings. I have completed two (count em! TWO!) whole strips in the past four days.

My drawings will be back starting in August. Until then, everyone gets to enjoy the fabulous artwork of Imagine This creator Lucas Turnbloom (this week), Chad Frye, Illustration Guy (next week) and contest winner Valerie Waters!

Facebook DOESN'T Allow Hate Groups!!!

Yay Facebook! They finally took down the hate page that was targeting my sister!! And it only took the threat of a legal action. It's gone! Hooray!

Facebook Allows Hate Groups

I found a Facebook hate group which was created specifically to target my sister, a teacher. Facebook refuses to take the page down. That horrifies and angers me.

Under the "Safety" section of the Facebook terms and conditions, #6 reads "You will not post content that is hateful, threatening, pornographic, or that contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence." The group is a clear violation Facebook's own terms and conditions.

I don't think I want to participate in a network that would not only allow a hate group targeting a specific teacher to stay live but would disable everyone from taking it down.

So tonight I am going to close my FB accounts. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up. Instead, you can find Haiku Ewe on Twitter and on the blog: www.haikuewe.com.

www.HaikuEwe.com!

For a little while (how long? I know not) I will double post both here and there. At some point I will make the big switcharoo and take this blog down. But that's quite a commitment and so it won't be for a while. Commitment is scary.

For now, I am trying to decide on a look (enter scary commitment again) and figure out how to arrange all the doohickies and figure out what all the doohickies dohick. Any suggestions or help any of you are willing to offer will be greatly appreciated.

I used to be a web desinger but that was three years ago. Three years is the equivalent of 6 lifetimes in web design years. Plus, I hated it and so I never researched the trends. I am a web design dinosaur. That doesn't phase me until I try to put together a blog/site thing for Haiku Ewe.

But! I will conquer this! PHP be damned! I will conquer this!!

#1 as of 10:19 AM PT

Lucas Turnbloom is drawing Haiku Ewe all week. Today is the first day you can see his brilliant work. It took us all the way to #1 most read comic today on gocomics this morning! Go Lucas go!!

Be sure to check out his strip, Imagine This!

The Debate

I'm having a hard time allowing myself to be light and whimsical. Perhaps I should listen to less BBC podcasts. A voice in my head asks, "How can you write such drivel when there are people like Neda dying in Iran? Can you imagine what some people are enduring right now in Zimbabwe as you sit in your air conditioned home and pontificate imaginary cases of Club Lamb Fungus?"

And then another voice (there are several) says, "Yes! That is exactly WHY you must create the diversion from the stress. That is what comics are all about. They are the split second break from real life that enables people to take a breath and get back into the fight."

"Are you really that self important, cartoonist?" chides voice #3. (Man I can't stand this one. It’s the same voice that suggests I buy the moldy strawberries because the ripe ones deserve to be eaten by classier people.)

Voice #2: "It's not a matter of self importance, it's a matter of understanding the point of your craft. It's a matter of realizing that your art serves a purpose."

Voice #3: "Oh brother. We are talking about cartoons!"

Voice #4: "If they are so meaningless, then why are they so popular?"

Voice #1: "Escapism! People are avoiding reality because it's hard and they want easy."

Voice #3: "Seriously. Haiku Ewe is about as important to the human condition as a knock-off Prada bag."

Voice #13: "My toenails are painted green!"

Voice #6: “Ya know, life in the US is a lot harder than we get credit for. We aren’t all fat, lazy Paris Hilton fans. Some of us care and work hard to help others.”

Voice #5: “Totally. The economy has us all terrified for our careers and houses. Everything I have worked so hard to build might come crashing down. Oh who am I kidding. I can’t even afford a house. And my hand is messed up. My life stinks!”

Voice #1: “Who cares if you can afford a house if the government bombs it!”

Voice #4: “Weren’t we debating the importance of cartoons?”

Voice #3: “More evidence to support my ongoing hypothesis that you are an easily distracted moron.”

Voice #2: “Aw that’s not very nice. You are great the way you are.”

Voice #3: “Look over there! A puppy!”

Voice #13: “What?! Yay!! Where?!”

Voice #3: “I rest my case.”

Voice #5: “Man, that is so unfair. I hate it when you do that.”

Voice #7: “All right! That’s enough! Voices 1-3, 5, and 13 zip it. Cartoons are good. People need to laugh. There is a time and a place for activism. That time and place is not Haiku Ewe. Let’s move on.”

Voice #13: “May I say something?”

Voice #7: (glare)

Voice #13: “I’m hungry.”

Another Drawing Attempt

Today, Haiku Ewe does a little celebratory jump because my drawing is getting better and better. It's slow going, but it's rewarding to see that I'm able to navigate this blasted splint. It comes off on July 20 and Haiku Ewe will surely find some purple lilies as a delicious celebratory treat. Why do we eat when we celebrate? Odd. Yummy, but odd.

Club Lamb Fungus

Hello beloved Haiku Ewe fans!

Today I want to talk about ringworm. It sounds gross ... and it is, but it is also fascinating to learn about ailments that visit farms. Ringworm in sheep is called Club Lamb Fungus. Appetizing, oui?

Usually, sheep catch Club Lamb Fungus/Ringworm from ... wait for it ... cows. Stupid. Jerk. Obnoxious. Cows. They have the world so snowed. Everyone thinks cows are sooo cute and they buy their little cow milk pitchers and their little cow bells and their little paintings of cow noses. Blegch. I'm with Haiku Ewe. They are a stain on our society.

Anyhoo, prevention of ringworm can be rough. Unfortunately, since Haiku Ewe and some stupid jerk cows have had ringworm, the farmer will likely be spraying them with some crazy concoctions.

Soon Haiku Ewe will be back to her old self. Though not as soon as she'd like and not as soon as you'd think.

Thank you to Danke Club Lambs and Livestock of Minford, Ohio for letting me rip these images.

If Club Lamb Fungus fascinates you and you'd like to read more ... then you got dropped as a child. No seriously, I was going to add some links here, but that is crazy. Even the people who are having to physically deal with sheep who have this don't want to know more about it. They just want to get rid of it.

So, really I am saving you from yourself by not giving you any links. I suppose you can still Google or GoodSearch "Club Lamb Fungus" but at least you won't be able to say that I encouraged your twisted research in any way.

Oh man, I think I need a nap.

#4!!!

Wooohooo!!! FOURTH most read on gocomics today!!!!!!!!

Top 10 again!

I made the gocomics top 10 most read today list again! hee hee!!

Honorable Mentions

Yipe! I said I'd post honorable mentions today and promptly forgot until 4:30 PM PT. My excuse: I live in downtown LA and the Staples Center is about 5 blocks from us. Michael Jackson's funeral was held there today. I did not attend. It's not a good excuse, but hopefully it will distract you long enough that I can sneak away.

Here are the honorable mentions...
Please notice the facial expression on the sheep next to the farmer. Lol! Richie Bauer sent in this drawing and you can see more of his work on the Saatchi Gallery.


Mickel Yantz, creator of the webcomic NutCracks sent this one in. I noticed that Haiku Ewe is conspicuously absent from his "Comics I Read" list. Whattup with that? Lol! But check out the colors and the cool shading.

The Winner: Valerie Waters!!

My friends, it is always hard to pick just one winner. But, c'est la vie, non? Ahh mais oui. Coq au vin. Okay, enough French.

Thank you so so so much to everyone who entered the contest. It was exciting and fun to watch entries roll in. The judging was a little more heart wrenching though. All of you who sent in drawings deserve a big pat on the back, and I'm giving you one in my head right now.

Valerie Waters is the winner of the Draw Haiku Ewe For A Week Contest! She sent in a great submission that made me lol, for real, not just typing it to type it. You will get to see her submission on July 27 and then her other drawings all through the week until July 31.

The runner up is Mary Barclay a.k.a. Shikamoo MB who sent in several delightful drawings. Should Valerie find herself unable to fulfill her duties as Illustrator Of Haiku Ewe For A Week, then the crown will fall into the hands of Mary. Therefore, I shall not display their drawings so as not to ruin the surprise.

Tomorrow, I will display drawings from a couple of honorably mentioned artists who threw their brushes into the ring.

Thank you again everyone!!!!!
-Al

Lazy and Timid Sunday

Okay! Submissions are in. Now comes the hard part. I don't want to make anyone sad but there can only be one winner. I'm so nervous about this part that I have only looked at one submission. But I will announce a winner tomorrow.

There are so many lovely ways to procrastinate: books, naps, movies, strawberries, walks, zone-outs, and tweets. Well, I'd better get started!

Midnight Deadline

Today is the last day for everyone to get submissions to me for the contest to draw Haiku Ewe for a week. The deadline is midnight tonight. I'll announce the winner on Monday.

Thank you to the folks who have sent in drawings! It means a lot to both Haiku Ewe and me that you took the time to do that. I will be available to the winner night and day ... well, maybe just day. But I'll be available! And I will help you as much as I can. Though you may not want me to as my drawing is still kind of funky.

Thank you to everyone and good luck and good show!

7th on Gocomics.com!!!!

Ohmytotallygosh!! Haiku Ewe is the 7th most read comic on gocomics today! What a great week this has been!! (Don't forget that the contest deadline is tomorrow at midnight!)

enter the contest! whee!!

deadline tomorrow at midnight!

Today! I Draw!

The hand therapist told me to draw. I've been too chicken to try for almost a week. This is my first sketch. I'm not allowed to take the brace off and my injury hurts when I draw. So, those are my two reasons/excuses why this drawing is so dreadful.

The good news is that it's not as crummy as I thought it would be. It looks like I just need to get used to using my hand again and working with the splint. I shall forge on. And post as I forge.

And yes, I am aware of the absurdity of watermarking this pathetic piece.

My Poor Hand

Here are some pics of my poor hand with it's very rare injury and custom splint. The ligament is torn on the side of my hand by the knuckle of the pinky. I must wear the splint at all times except when showering b/c I must not get the splint wet. The splint wouldn't like that. And we don't want to make the splint mad.

It kind of looks like a foam magnet that has been exposed to too much foam.

I call this "Perma-Wave."

The white powder is actually foot powder to help ensure this thing doesn't stink like a rotten corpse by the end of my three weeks with it. Tomorrow will mark the end of week 1. The time hasn't passed quickly.

Contest, Exciting Contest

Friday is the deadline for entries for the contest to draw Haiku Ewe for a week. Gocomics is a pretty popular place, so a lot of people will see the winner's (you?) drawings. I'll be sure to put the artist's name and website (if you want).

It is all quite exciting! I hope everyone who wants to will enter.

10th Most Poular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my gosh! my heart is pounding!!! i heard a comics podcast today and wanted to find a strip and i went to this page and found two amazing things!!!! haiku ewe is the 10th most popular strip on gocomics.com today!! what the??! wow!!! and it was in the "recently favorited"!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!

discuss: "zombie" comics

I bought some Tin Tin hardcover books at a comic book shop. They were wrapped in plastic and so I was unable to peruse the books before buying them. When I got home and looked inside, I immediately knew I was not looking at the drawings of Herge. The book was labeled and the drawings were signed Herge. I feel duped by the Herge Foundation which is behind it.

Why am I so outraged at my Tin Tin situation but just shrug off comic strips like Garfield which display signatures of the original creators but are no longer produced by them?

Is cartooning the only art form where it is acceptable to sign one artist's name to another artist's work?

Big Ugly Brace + Guest Artists

What a long strange day! I went to the hand therapist and now have a crazy looking custom hand brace that must be worn for the next three weeks. she said i should be able to write, so i am going to see if i can start drawing a little bit by the time i need to start creating stuff for august.

until then, don't forget there is a lot of excitment! we have some amazing guest artists to look forward to:
July 13-17: Lucas Turnbloom (Imagine This)
July 20-24: Chad Frye, Illustration guy
July 27-31: YOU?????

Be sure to enter the contest!

i want to thank my agent, my mom, all the fans, God, who am i forgetting...

i am very very excited. for the first time in my almost 3 year blogging life (other blogs, not this one), i received a spam comment link to a porn site! i feel like i've made it into the big leagues now. i'll stand a little taller today.

one track mind

contest! contest! contest! - btw, i just stirred some hemp protein powder into my yogurt. oh wow.

enter the contest! whee!!

haiku ewe and i are very excited about the drawing contest that will feature a fan's interpretation of the strip (scrpts provided)! Things are swimming along nicely. yessss nicely indeed.

nobody should be shy. one person posted on gocomics that they wish they could draw. i wish that person would give it a shot. once the contest is over, i will post some of the entries on here.

soapbox: so many more people can draw than think they can draw! just like so many more people can sing than think they can sing. and i know because i'm taking singing lessons. scary but true. BUT! not nearly as scary as i thought it would be. nosir.

HAIKU EWE’S ILLUSTRATOR FOR A WEEK CONTEST!

Have you always wondered what it would be like to illustrate a comic about a sheep who speaks in haiku? Now is your chance!!

I (Big Al, the gal) tore a ligament in my drawing hand (long story involving an angry shark and some floss) and I want YOU to illustrate a week of Haiku Ewe for me!

Email a sketch of the following haiku to haikuewe@gmail.com:

Friends suggest mischief
Though farmer strictly forbids
It looks really fun

The best drawing will win its creator a week as the Haiku Ewe illustrator! I’ll email the other four haikus for that week and you can get to work. Your artwork will be seen by thousands of people and it will go live the week of July 27-31, 2009.

* Deadline for entries is midnight July 3, 2009.
** Winner will be announced July 6, 2009.
*** No entries from family members of Big Al, the gal, or Haiku Ewe will be considered.
**** Please note: rough sketches are fine, submissions don’t need to be final art, but please keep the files small!

guest illustrators and a contest

no surgery necessary! i hope to be drawing again in about 3 weeks. my strips will run through july 10. after that, two fabulous guest artists have agreed to illustrate haiku ewe! and next, maybe you will?

July 13-17 - lucas turnbloom, creator of imagine this!!

July 20-24 - chad frye illustration guy!!

July 27-31 - YOU?

stay tuned for more details about a contest that could land you in the illustrator's seat of haiku ewe!

torn ligament

i had hoped that the doctors would say, "it's healing great! start physical therapy on it! you'll be drawing again in a couple of weeks!"

nope. the mri revealed a torn ligament that may require surgery. :o(

corpse flower

on haiku ewe's facebook page, i posted a time lapse video of the 1999 corpse flower blooming. the new one is going to bloom any day! it now stands at 6'7.25". you can learn more on the huntington garden's website.

it blooms only every 5-7 years (this one took 7) and stinks terribly once it opens. the bloom only lasts for 2 days.

corpse flower

mriisoverandi'mloopyfromsedatives

mri is over thankfully. took sedatives. i slept.

mri tip: close your eyes before they slide u in the tube and dont open them again until ur out.

still feeling looooopy.

tight lipped

still not ready to divulge all, but i'll divulge some exciting news. because of the sprained hand i've had to get creative. the good news that i can shout from the hilltops is that my amazingly talented friend, chad frye, will be drawing haiku ewe july 20-24!!!

you can see his blog too: http://www.chadfrye.com/blog/

thank you, chad! what a wonderful amazing treat!!!

the break out

hee hee! i am so excited about this week! i've been waiting for it to go live for a long time. i won't say any more b/c i don't want to say too much.

mri is scheduled for the sprained hand on wed morning. have i mentioned i don't like being trapped in tubes?

the good news is that gocomics and i are working on a fun solution since i have only drawn strips through july 10. who will draw them? you'll seeee!

grace

cows can be so rude and they've been a real problem for haiku ewe lately. one of them was complaining about frequent romantic advances from the bull. to haiku ewe! she is in love with the bull and desperately wants him to notice her!

thoughtless, insensitive, rude, arrogant ... i could go on and on. those cows ain't right in the head.

she handled herself with class though. she smiled and nodded and tried to change the subject a couple of times. finally she excused herself politely. way to go haiku ewe!

she said later that all she wanted to do was grab that cow's bell and stuff it down her throat.

Utters?

i can't believe i misspelled udders in today's strip. i can't believe i misspelled udders in today's strip. i can't believe i misspelled udders in today's strip.

i hate it when i make silly errors. don't we all? the sheep is less than sympathetic, but hay (meant that one), she missed it too.

will fix and reload but today is lost. what a bummer.i really liked that haiku. :o(

sometimes it's a-ok to rhyme

Poor besotted Ewe!
How can a bull’s love be true
when he has cows too?
--ejcapulet


we love it!

is this legal?

haiku ewe has, between sessions of swooning over the bull, started making me ice my hand. who knew sheep could be so mean? i think i am growing grouchier by the day. not being able to draw has me pretty miserable. and that seems to annoy haiku ewe. hence the ice.

she claims the ice is to help my hand heal more quickly. i think it's really just cheap torture.

Mutiny

some men experience sympathy pregnancy symptoms with their wives. my left hand is experiencing sympathy sprain symptoms with my right hand. are they both against me?!

Deadly Serious

when people ask how i hurt my hand, they never just ask, they all feel the need to be clever. so i started telling them that i wanted to see if i could kill a man with just my right hand. they all (100%) next ask, "You couln't do it?" "Oh yes, I did it," I reply, "but it hurt." And that is always the end of that. maybe it helps that i look them straight in the eyes and don't smile or chuckle to indicate that i'm kidding.

haiku ewe doesn't think it's funny. she told me i'm sick in the head. evidently humor isn't the sheep's strong suit.

Still????

hand still sore and on bed rest - hoping this will help me fulfill my dream of becoming ambidextrous

Mambo

sprained hand update: the palm of my hand is still a creepy shade of green. but i think green is the color of a bruise that is on its way out. still pretty painful and stiff but swelling is down (thank u advil) and i'm seeing new progress every day.

but really i want to compliment haiku ewe on her mambo today. she has done a great job with her crooning all week long. way to go, haiku ewe! if the bull doesn't notice u after all this then he is blind.

and i think it is pretty big of me to compliment u when u have been devoid of compassion for me with my wound. yes. i said it. devoid of compassion. i was filled with sympathy for u during ur cow tipping infirmary stay. i even brought u some purple flowers as a special snack.

Still Sprained

Haiku Ewe is impatient for my hand to heal as am I. Unfortunately, we just aren't there yet. The good news is that i'm getting faster and faster at typing with only my left hand.

Sprained!

It's sprained! My hand is sprained!! They took xrays yesterday and no break was visible to the naked eye (good) and they are sending xrays to lab for closer inspection to be certain. Did I mention it's my drawing hand that I sprained??

My hand is now in lock-down to ensure a quick full healthy recovery.

The sheep has been less than sympathetic (surprise).

It took me about 15 minutes to type this w/ only my left hand. I go now.

Crooning

I hurt my hand this weekend so I am just going to type (ouch) a short post and then sign off. This week is going to be Haiku Ewe's tribute to crooning. She is surprisingly good. She imagines herself all over the place and in all sorts of situations including, but not limited to, the great Ella Fitzgerald.

Hand hurts. Gotta go.

Hope you enjoy!

Naps

Some people can nap until the cows come home. Oops. Sorry. Haiku Ewe isn't a huge fan of cows and doesn't like cow references.

Anyway, I am not a napper. Naps stress me out. Am I the only person in the world who feels that way? When I lie down, I start thinking of all the stuff I should be getting done and then I get stressed out and my heart starts pounding and I realize I would have been better off had I jut kept running around getting stuff done.

My heart is actually pounding right now because I stillll have not gone to the post office to mail that stupid thing. Grr! I have to get that done today! Wow. Evidently, even the mere mention of naps stresses me out.

Fire!

I love bonfires. I love the smell and the excitement of being so close to a big ole fire. It feels a little dangerous while actually being totally safe. Unless you are covered in fleece. Is fleece flammable?

Speaking of the word "flammable," I mizpellld it on the strip today. BlueRaven noticed. Which makes me crazy. I double check (dictionary.com!) every word three times before I post it. Except "flammable" evidently. Yar!! I'm going to leave it for now. But soon, very soon, I expect I will break down and replace it with the corrected version.

- - - -
Ok. I googled and all I could find was information about the use of sheep to help prevent wildfires. Not a bad idea. I didn't find any info about whether or not their fleece in flammable. But why take a chance, right?

So, it's a good thing Haiku Ewe played it safe today. Well done, young sheep.

In ewe words:
"Sheep can help the world
One fire at a time munch munch
Fire prone brush tastes gooood"

Now.

It's a glorious California day and Haiku Ewe has found a little pond. Maybe it's just a puddle. I'm not sure. It's new to us anyway. I digress. Haiku Ewe found a pond and has been staring at her reflection.

The pond and the kind feedback we have been receiving from a few fans over the past couple of days led us to think about the ego. It's interesting how when we first see our beautiful face reflected or first read the flattering words, we feel ten feet tall. All suddenly becomes right with the world. The grass is greener, the sky is bluer, the cows are even a little less obnoxious. But then the good feeling fades and we begin to want more praise.

It's like a drug in two ways. First, it's addictive and we find ourselves always chasing after more. Second, paranoia sets in. Every time Haiku Ewe starts to say something she hesitates for a moment wondering if her statement will be "good enough."

So it becomes a vicious circle: wanting more praise, receiving it and becoming more paranoid and in need of more praise. Today Haiku Ewe and I are going to focus on the now.

We are going to become fully aware of the moment in which we currently find ourselves. Haiku Ewe won't let her thoughts wander to the delicious purple flowers in the back field and I won't let my thoughts wander to the trip I need to make to the post office to mail that stupid thing that should have gone out days and days ago and I wonder if there will be a line and will it be hot because it's always hot there. Oops.

The Love!!!

Haiku Ewe and I are both aware that self love and true joy are supposed to come from places that are not dependent on people. However, we haven't learned how to do that and so we are dancing around and giggling because of the following post on the gocomics site:

Haiku purple ewe
We love you so much that we
Write love poems too.
--Shikamoo MB

We love you too, Shikamoo MB!!!

How could we POSSIBLY have a bad day now? We can't!

To be truly loved
To be appreciated
Tis bliss for my soul

Ok, Haiku Ewe was a little over drama there. Yes you were and you know it. She's giving me this look like I just asked for some ketchup to put on my cruller. Whatever.

Bulls. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Today our dear sheep is in a tree. I have no idea how she managed to shimmy up there with hooves. Nor do I know how she'll get down. Does she? Oh boy.

Today, Haiku Ewe seems to be fully in love and also ready to move on . . . from the farm . . . but . . . she's a sheep. Where would she go?

Also, I hope she doesn't see my blog, but I don't see how a romance between a sheep and a bull could possibly work. Then, when I look a little closer at how arrogant and self absorbed this bull is, it makes me want to take Haiku Ewe by the shoulders and shake her. Why do women so often have such bad taste in men.

It seems to me that if a man thinks you have good taste simply because you are attracted to him, then you've fallen for a jerk. That should be your first clue to run away as fast as you can. I don't tell her what I think though. When I've tried in the past, she has looked at me with daggers in her eyes and then bleated in this weird way that I don't ever want to hear again. It was like a cross between a dying three legged cat and a can opener.

Fortuantely, she is in a good mood though. Perhaps that is the point. When we find ourselves in a good mood, we should cling to it and savor it. For soon a cow will sashay by and our bull will grow distracted and that good mood will shatter into a million pieces of heartache . . . like when you are taking a vitamin that is large and you gulp too much water and it feels like you are having a heart attack. Does that ever happen to anyone else or just me?

The Bull

It appears Haiku Ewe has a little crush on the bull. It's odd how women chose their men. He seems to me to be a giant flaky flirt, but to each their own. He also seems to be head over heals in love with himself. But, again, to each their own.

Haiku Ewe seems really distracted today. She keeps looking over at the bull and I think she even tried to talk to him once or twice already. Maybe the reason she hates cows so much is because they get all of the attention from the bull. I dread the day she learns what the bull is on the farm to do with the cows.

Hairless Humans

I think today is quite lovely but Haiku Ewe is already complaining. She claims I could never understand her heat issues unless I had fleece like "normal people." This was followed by a rant about how humans and hairless cats are freaks of nature and "nobody wants to look at that." Thanks.

Humans feel just fine
Those of us with fleece are HOT!

I am sweltering
Eighty degrees without fleece


P.S. I hope wndrwrthg checks this blog because I want this person to know I Haiku Ewe and I think their haikus are great. It's so fun to see them each and every day!

The April 14 Post

Today vs. April 14

As a birthday present to myself, I posted a week of sheering story line strips April 13-17. Except I didn't. Somehow I messed up. Why FTP confuses me so I will never understand. Anyway, the strip that posted today posted on April 14 before I realized I hadn't changed everything around. I fixed it and people can see a strip they haven't seen before by going to April 14.

Is this interesting to anyone? Because I am so bored. What a boring blog post. I told you yesterday I lead a quiet life.

Perhaps I should end this bloodbath of boredom now. I'll try to be more interesting tomorrow.

P.S. I live in downtown Los Angeles. I just looked out my window to see to people repelling off the side of a building to wash its windows. It looks so third world to me. Ironically, they are washing the windows of a very expensive and exclusive town club. Odd.

Straight Talk: Big Al, the gal

If I may be frank and detached regarding today's comic ... may I? This was a day when I was playing with words. "Tyrannosaurus" has 5 syllables and I found that exciting (I lead a quiet life). So, I built a bizarre haiku around it. I thought about not posting it because it's so odd, but then I decided why not. In addition, it was fun to play with Haiku Ewe herself in coming up with an illustration for the haiku.

The comic has bounced around a lot as far as subject matter goes. Things will begin to settle down in that area toward the end of May when week-long themes will reveal a deeper level of Haiku Ewe's personality. In June, these story lines will start to bleed into each other and the larger story arc will begin to emerge.

Sometimes . . . err . . . OFTEN, comic strips focus in on a story line and then drag it out and pound it into the ground until you feel like you want to take a pistol to someone's head . . . namely the creator's. However, I've found that avoiding story lines keeps the reader's relationship with Haiku Ewe superficial and is therefore distancing.

The comic is still new and it feels like a dog circling his spot a few times before he lies down. Hopefully fans will be patient or even curious as Haiku Ewe's personality reveals itself and as the grand story arc of the strip begins to crystalize.

I don't think it would have worked as well if I'd immediately jumped into the deep end of a story line without first slowly introducing readers to our little ewe. Also, it's taken time for people to sniff this comic's butt . . . if I may perpetuate the dog metaphor. The daily haiku is a different approach to a comic strip and people have had to get comfortable with it.

Actually, I thought it would take a lot longer for people to get on board (dog metaphor over), but the majority of the comments and fan mail I've gotten (yes! after only 2 months the strip is getting fan mail!!) have been in haiku. That is so. dang. awesome.

Hopefully this will be the first and last straight-talk-from-the-cartoonist blog post I will do. But I'm unpredictable, so one never can tell.

Thanks for sticking it out and reading the whole thing.
- Big Al (the gal)

P.S. From Haiku Ewe: "Sometimes our Big Al / Obsesses about small stuff / So just smile and nod"

3,000! Woohoo!

Woohoo! We broke 3,000 subscribers!! Every time Haiku Ewe breaks another 1K, I celebrate with yummy churros. There is a restaurant near where I live that makes GREAT churros! Is it wrong to celebrate with food?

Haiku Ewe is nodding that she thinks it is wrong to celebrate with food, but I think I see some purple flowers caught in the fur near her mouth. I seeeee.

We're 3,000 strong!
And growing bigger each day
Haiku Ewe matters

Happy Mother's Day!

Haiku Ewe and I (Big Al, the gal) hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day full of sugar and presents ... and purple flowers (to eat) (that wish if from the sheep).

Haiku Ewe is up to 99% in her recovery from the cow tipping incident. She spent the day sniffing around the farm b/c she thought she smelled something funky. She alerted the dog, but he's old and lazy and not really good for anything. She has not yet found the offending object, but hopes to soon.

Also, we have an important public service (sort of) announcement. The comic on May 13 will seem to be a repeat of April 14. Because it is. You see, I had to move some strips around for the week of April 13-17. I got mixed up (happens a lot) and the one that was supposed to post on May 13 posted on April 14. Then I fixed it. So the comic that was supposed to appear on April 14 now appears properly when you go back through the archives. My basic advice is this: on May 13 look at April 14 by clicking on the calendar.

Does that make sense? Perhaps not. But I'm a cartoonist, so you really shouldn't expect too much of me.

Feeling Better and Nearing 3K!

What a difference a day makes! Wow, Haiku Ewe is back in action and almost at 100%. She is finally out of the infirmary and ambling around the farm a little. She claims that the hay in the infirmary tastes different from the "hay of freedom." I don't really buy that since it all comes from the same place, but we'll let her imagine.

Today is our two month anniversary. Haiku Ewe went live on March 9 and here we are on May 9. We are 25 people away from 3,000 subscribers! Judging from the way the numbers have been increasing (yes, I have been watching them like a hawk for the whole two months), we will hit 3,000 by tomorrow or Monday (and that's being conservative). Wow! Wow!

I still haven't heard back from the gocomics.com people about yesterday's Haiku Ewe comic not loading. I will keep trying and hopefully all will be resolved Monday. However, here is the strip you missed yesterday.

One of Thooooose Days

What a day!

Haiku Ewe is on day 2 in the infirmary because of her injuries from her cow tipping jaunt. And, on top of that, the comic is not loading on gocomics.com. What the?!

The good news is 1. I'm pretty sure it's not my fault (Yay! I did it right!) and 2. People care!!

Oh wherefore art thou
Precious little purple ewe
Are you in a stew?
-- wndrwrthg

(Am I the only one who likes a little rhyme in my haiku every now and then? I just love that. Who's with me? Thank you, wndrwrthg!)

That SHOULD warm my heart and keep me floating all day, right? Well, I'm a cartoonist. And cartoonists see the glass as half empty ... or maybe as about to be totally empty (because we are a people who love food and drink). Well, some punk posted this:

Today’s strip did not load.
It’s been so lame I don’t care.
That sums it all up.
--Edcole1961

Sheesh. Are we cartoonists not human? When you prick us, do we not bleed, Edcole1961? Oh, and by the way, your first line has 6 syllables.

More importantly than the above, Haiku Ewe fans have thus far proven themselves to be exceptionally cool people. Haiku Ewe and I are LOVING all the haikus we see on the gocomics.com page and on Facebook.

Oh, and by the way, to get her to stop tapping me on my knee, I am going to post Haiku Ewe's latest statement:

"Cows are horrible
They are mean violent creatures
We should outlaw them"

Haiku Ewe in Infirmary

Somehow Haiku Ewe got the idea to go cow tipping last night. She is in the infirmary today resting and getting some wounds bandaged. A sheep is just too small to tip a cow over. And sleeping cows kick. -Big Al, the gal

Shaun the Sheep (what a hottie!)

Great Idea!

A friend's suggestion
A cow tipping I will go
Heehee! Thanks Tari!

Beauty

Rude

New cow adjusting
No "hello" no "my name is"
She seems abrasive

So What

What's so all-fired great
About big udders? I mean
They aren't Stealth Fighters

Small and Sour

'09 blueberries
Either a bad season or
Cows ate the good ones

TGIF

It's been a rough week
My favorite hay bale is gone
and there's a new cow

Hoof Sanitizer

Stay away from me!
Don't sneeze, cough, or breathe near me!
Swine Flu on Fox News

Soggy

I'm no fan of baths
They are a lot of trouble
Fleece dries quite slowly

Cowbells

For whom the bells toll
Donka donka donka donk
Cowbells aren't pretty

Living My Life

A day like any
Is it? Does it have to be?
Today I will thrive

Beating My OWN Drum

Authenticity
I won't kowtow to the Man
Cows "tow" - ewes speak truth

Love

Can bulls be tender?
Can bulls fall in love with ewes?
A ewe loves a bull

Longing for Spice

Life can be mundane
Boredom so deep it echoes
Bored-ored-ored-ored-ored

Mistakes are Forbidden!

Dolt haiku 'toonist
Misdated one of my strips
I can't work like this!

Stupid Jerk Cows

I hate cows so much
They think they're so great with bells
And utters and things

scritcha scritcha

When all is quiet
And nothing around me stirs
My fleece says, "Scratch scratch"

Low APR?

I need more credit
I want a TIME credit card
Giant to-do list!

Post Birthday

A little older
And a little chubbier
Birthday afterglow

Happy Birthday!

A happy birthday
Yes, sheep celebrate them too
But we don't eat cake

kakakakakaka - not!

Thankful for my fleece
The furless are shivering
Wishing they were sheep

www.gocomics.com/haikuewe

Rush

Yikes so much to do!
Roses to smell? I've no time!
Ewe in a hurry

Achoo?

Um has spring sprung yet?
I'm cold then hot then cold then
Confused non-season

ZZZZZZ!

Angry lion roars
Far from my west coast shores. Here,
Sleepy farmer snores

Hating to Care

People are watching
Why does it matter so much?
They point out my flaws

April Fools! Get it?

April 1 fools rush in
After I lay my clever traps
They don't laugh but I do

1,000!!!

I'm celebrating!
You all love me so so much!!
One thousand of you!!!

WTF

Monday filled with angst
Hot sun but chilly breezes
Is it spring or not?!

Mo Money

Today is Friday

If I were human, it would

Also be payday

Yummy

Lunch Lunch Lunch Lunch Lunch
Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch
Hungry for some lunch

Tick Tock

Time just slips away
A busy sheep on a farm
Gotta go! Nap time.

Youth

Innocence of youth
Coo, isn't it sweet. Oh please.
I think I'm cuter

Id or Ego?

I try not to care
And I try not to look ... but
Egotism pulls

Day 9: 401 subscribers on GoComics!

Eh

Ups, downs, all arounds
Sometimes good and sometimes bad
Sometimes in between

Correct Size for March 17, 2009

The comic was far too large on GoComics.com today. So I am posting it here too so that people can see it. Sorry for the mistake!

230!!

You really like me!
Day 6: subscribers number
Two hundred thirty!

http://www.gocomics.com/haikuewe

Work

Complicated role
It's not all fun and grazing
Crackerjack pundit

Ahhh

Relaxing into
My new home at GoComics
So far it's sooo good

Day 2, woohoo!

It's day number two
The excitement is mounting
I think I love me

http://www.gocomics.com/haikuewe

See me! Love me!

Yay! It's up! It's up!
I'm live on GoComics.com!
See me and love me!!

http://gocomics.com/haikuewe

Can I Get a Baa Baa?

Exciting and NEW!
Monday at GoComics.com
I'm a sheep with (s)ass

March 9, 2009

It begins March 9
A comic about a ewe
Who speaks in haiku


at Gocomics.com!

Haiku Ewe

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